One person that I truly admire is my younger brother. I used to brag to anyone who’d listen that I take all of the credit for how he’d turned out. After all, my younger brother emulated all of my good qualities and steered clear of all of the things I messed up on! Every error was a clear instructive to him regarding how NOT to live! In many ways I was more of a mentor to him than our beloved parents because I was far more relatable.
The Torah is not a history book. We don’t have a recounting of the daily events of Avraham’s 175 years, for the sake of the avid Avraham fan. There is no such self-help book on how Yaakov maintained a healthy self-esteem despite his father doting on his older brother! As interesting and informative as these classics might have been, the Torah does not supply play by play events of our ancestry. As a matter of fact, often hundreds of years fly by from Sedra to Sedra with as little as the genealogy being listed before the Jewish roller coaster rockets forwards in history. One thing is clear: The Torah (coming from the Hebrew word hora’ah= instructive) handpicks significant events that when discussed will be both relatable and relevant to our people – for all time!
Enters Korach; a cousin of our leader Moshe and a wise and prestigious man, who took issue with what he perceived to be Moshe’s usage of the spoils system in his appointment of Aharon as the High Priest. Starting a mutiny, he swiftly enlists his neighbors in a bitter feud that ultimately ends in tragedy for him and his cohorts. Dasan and Aviram, two upstarts form the tribe of Reuven who’d had a bone to pick with Moshe since he was a prince of Egypt took advantage of one last opportunity to give him grief. Hearing of Dasan and Aviram’s involvement, Moshe summons them to him in an effort to clear the air by talking over their differences. Refusing Moshe’s summons, they ultimately stay their course and go down with the ship.
When Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Aeurbach’s wife passed away, he famously announced at her eulogy that he had nothing to ask her forgiveness for! Their unity had been one of harmony and love. Sometime later, Rav Aeurbach, passing by one of his students, casually enquired of him how married life was treating him, “Life is amazing,” replied the student. “My wife and I never get into any arguments!” “Really?” responded the Rav. “Are you and your wife unwell?” Assuring the Rav that they were hale and hardy, the student replied quizzically, “Didn’t the Rav announce that you never had a dispute in your marriage to the extent that you had nothing to ask your wife’s forgiveness for?” Rav Aeurbach responded simply, “But of course we argued! It’s only natural for two individuals to have differences of opinion. We simply didn’t allow our arguments to get personal!”
Dasan and Aviram snubbed Moshe’s attempt at making peace. Notwithstanding the fact that Moshe was our greatest teacher of all time; here was an endeavor at clearing the air – a meeting of minds! Why would they not come to the table? The answer dear friends is, that they’d already made up their minds! Moshe wasn’t only in the wrong and doing the nation a tremendous disservice, he was evil incarnate! To sit down across the table from HIM…!
It’s human nature for us to argue with our spouses. To disagree with how an institute is run when so many have invested interests in it – is not only normal but to an extent – is praiseworthy! However, to allow a difference of opinion to fester and become a grievance…that is entirely avoidable! Let’s agree to disagree instead of insisting on feuding. In the latter there’s demonizing and a rigid obstinacy to come to any constructive end. But in allowing a difference of opinion we put unity and acceptance of others above all else! That is when we merit peace.
Have a great Shabbos! Menachem
