Although Alex was brought up in a strictly orthodox home, he struggled with much of his observance. Little by little his religious practices fell away and Shabbat became an ordinary weekday. Realizing how far he had fallen, he decided one week that enough is enough, he was not going to smoke a single cigarette the entire duration of Shabbat. He psyched himself up for the chosen week, and placed his packet of Marlboro Lights as high on the bookshelf as he could. Shabbat arrived, and his packet of cigarettes looked down at him, he could almost hear them calling him in his mind. ‘No, he told himself, don’t be a loser, don’t let yourself down’. But after four hours of the all familiar nagging voice telling him to take a puff, he succumbed to his temptations. Many more cigarettes than usual were smoked that Shabbat.
Despondent, he approached one of his mentors and related his failings. The friend closed his eyes, deep in thought for a few minutes. Finally he opened them up… ‘I will make a deal with you’ he said. ‘Go on’ said Alex. ‘Well, you did smoke on Shabbat, and unfortunately for that there will be consequences. However I am willing to foot the bill in heaven for that deed, let the penalty for your actions go in my account. But there is one condition… I want the tremendous reward that you will receive for those four difficult hours when you held yourself back from smoking. I can assure you that the angels were dancing in heaven saying to Hashem, ‘look at your beautiful son Alex, how amazing is he for holding himself back from smoking’. If you give me the enormous reward gained from struggling to keep four hours of Shabbat, I am willing to take your punishment for breaking it!’
Alex, inspired by this new perspective, realized that he was no failure at all. Rather the four hours of keeping Shabbat was a tremendous growth and sacrifice in the eyes of Hashem.
The commentators suggest that our Parsha alludes to this message in the way it describes the journeys that the Jews made in the desert. The verses say ‘They arrived at Ramses. They then left Ramses and arrived in Succoth. They then left Succoth and arrived in Aysom. They then left Aysom etc…’ Much of this information seems superfluous since if they arrived at Ramses, then obviously they left from there too. Why therefore the need to mention the name of each place two times ‘they arrived at Ramses and left from Ramses…’ It would be an incredible feat if they could camp in one place and leave from another?!
Perhaps the Torah is teaching that in our personal journeys of spiritual growth, small steps need to be taken, one at a time. Before moving to a new level, it is important to ensure one is firmly ‘camped’ in their current one. ‘All or nothing’ is not a Jewish concept. Hashem only expects from someone what he or she is capable of based on where they are standing right now. Thus for Alex, that short observance of Shabbat was a four hour improvement on the previous week. Sure, there is more progress to be made, but each step is beautiful, should be applauded and regarded a victory in its own right.
Good Shabbos, Mychiel
