The story is told of a Rabbi who was looking for a prospective match for his son. The father of a girl approaches him and starts raving about his daughter’s sterling qualities, “my daughter will give up anything for her Judaism. The self sacrifice that she is prepared to endure for the continuity of Judaism knows no bounds!”. “Give up? Self sacrifice? for Judaism?” asks the Rabbi. “We shouldn’t feel that we ‘give up’ for Judaism, on the contrary we should feel the privilege of Jewish. If she feels that her Judaism is a drag then she’s not for my son” concluded the Rabbi.
Reb Moshe Feinstein made a similar observation regarding the Jews who arrived in America from eastern Europe and lost job after job because they refused to work on Shabbos. To quote Reb Moshe, “While those who boast about the trials and tribulations they suffered for the sake of keeping Shabbos – in times when it was far more difficult for a shomer Shabbos person to hold a job than it is now – may instill pride and strength in their children, they may also be doing them a great disservice. The message they convey is that ‘Es is shver tzu zein a yid’ – ‘it is hard to be a Jew’”. Reb Moshe continues to explain how in the realm of education this idea is so central to ensuring that the next generation keep Shabbos, go to shul, and generally keep Mitzvahs.
Reb Moshe explains how we can see this fundamental concept in this week’s Parshah. After Yaakov’s years of working in Lavan’s house, Hashem appears to him and tells him to head back to his homeland. Let’s take a look at how Yaakov relays this over to his wives. “I have noticed that your father’s disposition is not toward me as in earlier days….. now you have known that it was with all my might that I served your father, yet your father mocked me and changed my wage a hundred times…..and an angel of G-d said to me in a dream….arise, leave this land and return to your native land”. The glaring problem is why the long speech? Why does he first validate that which he has been told explicitly to do by Hashem? If Yaakov hadn’t seen the logic of Hashem’s command would he not have gone?
In fact when Rachel and Leah confirm that they are willing to pick up and move they too first justify why they think it is a good idea to leave; “Are we not considered by him (Lavan) as strangers? For he has sold us and even totally consumed our money!”. As almost a footnote they add on, “all that Hashem says we will do”?
Answers Reb Moshe, when Yaakov and consequently his wives, received the command to pick up and leave, they first proved to themselves how the command of Hashem was for their own good. Not that had they not fathomed it they would have gone against the word of Hashem G-d forbid; but in order to feel the fact that the command of Hashem is for their own good.
There is a famous Parable from the Dubner Maggid (which allegedly was one of three parables that was said with divine inspiration). A wagon laden with boxes draws up to house. The owner instructs his servant to take certain boxes upstairs for him. After half an hour the servant, puffing panting and wiping the sweat off his brow tells the owner that the boxes have been taken upstairs. Upon noticing the state of the servant the master exclaims, “But you’ve done the wrong boxes! My boxes weren’t heavy; if you ended up sweating like that then you must have been carrying the wrong boxes”.
So too says Hashem, “if Judasim is like a burden on you, then what you’re schlepping is not authentic Judasim!” With this the Maggid translates the verse in Isaiah 43:22 “that’s not who I call Yaakov, for you are exerting yourselves to serve me, O Israel”. If serving Hashem is an exertion than that’s not what Hashem wants.
While sometimes we may indeed feel that ‘Es is shver tzu zein a yid’, in truth, it is shverer NISHT tzu zein a yid! Indeed, be grateful and acknowledge that, when it really comes down to it, it is far more difficult… not to be a Jew!
Good Shabbos,
Yaakov.