Yaakov Hibbert Presents…Pork Stork

This week we read the lists of kosher and non-kosher animals. One reason behind not eating non-kosher animals is that we are what we eat. If an animal with particular bad characteristics is eaten it will cause us to inherit their same bad traits. However amongst the forbidden animals listed we find the ‘Chasidoh’ – the stork. Rashi tells us that the name ‘Chasidoh’ is from the same root as ‘Chessed’ – kindness, because the animal does kindness with its mate.

Noting its kind nature, why then does the Torah forbid us from eating the stork? Some commentators explain that although it does Chessed, it only does so with its own species. This shows a selfish type of kindness and therefore we cannot eat it.

The question that bothered me however was: is this really so bad to only do Chessed with its own type? At least it is doing some form of kindness. Many people who don’t do any Chessed would gain from eating such an animal; they would start doing Chessed at least within their own family – surely charity starts at home?

Perhaps we can suggest that what makes stork pork, is that by the fact that we see that it does Chessed to its own type, it has shown that it has the ability to do Chessed. This in fact is what vindicates it and determines it a non–kosher animal. To have the good qualities yet not to use them properly is a ‘treif’ trait.

The Medresh relates a shocking reason behind the killing of Navos Hayisraeli who was sentenced to death by the king after false witnesses had been brought against him. Why did he deserve to die? Navos had a particularly sweet voice, and every Festival he would be the Chazzan in the Beis Hamikdosh in Yerushalayim. One year however he didn’t go – that was his fateful year. He was duly punished for not using his G-d given talents. This tragic Medresh highlights for us how very treif is the trait of having strengths and not using them properly.

My uncle Rabbi Steven Baars has a marriage and parenting book written based on this concept. In his words “you already possess all the skills and ability to become a great spouse, and you are practicing them….. with your children….. And the reverse is also true. The skills you need to become a better parent are to be found in your role as a spouse. People are great parents with their spouses, and great spouses with their children”.

One example he brings of this phenomenon is “Quality time vs. quantity time”. Very briefly, a spouse needs roughly 80% quality time but only 20% quantity time i.e. the amount of time you spend with them is of little importance, what matters is how good the quality of the time spent together is. Whereas with a child the opposite is true. A child wants his parents to always be there for him – quantity time. But children want much less quality time with their parents.

The irony of the situation is that we naturally do the opposite, we give our spouse lots of time (“quantity time”) but don’t make it meaningful (“quality time”). But we want to spend meaningful time with our kids discussing their issues with them [which invariably they don’t want to discuss] (“quality time”) and we don’t convey the message that we are always there for them (“quantity time”).

If you understood this then good, if not or you want to read about many other examples of this, you have to buy the book!

The following excerpt written by Rabbi Kalman Packouz illustrates this point so beautifully:

“I once asked Rabbi Noach Weinberg [Founder & Dean of Aish HaTorah] for his favourite joke. He gave a little laugh and then proceeded to tell me, “There was once a man who worked the late shift. When his shift was over, he would take a shortcut home through a graveyard. One dark, moonless night he was following the path when he fell into an open grave. Unbeknownst to him, someone had dug it during the day. For an hour he tried to find a foothold or handhold to get out of the grave. Finally, he gave up, sat in the corner, and decided to wait until someone came in the morning.

“A short while later another man – taking the same shortcut – plops into the grave. From his seat in the corner, the first man watches as the second man searches for a foothold or handhold to get out. Figuring he’ll save the guy some time – and maybe they can get out if they work together – he gets up, walks up behind the second man. He then taps him on the shoulder from behind. Zip! Zap! The second man jumps straight out of the grave!”

After sitting there for a few moments pondering probably one of the un-funniest jokes I have ever heard, I asked Reb Noach, “Rebbe, what’s so funny about that joke?” “Imagine what we could accomplish if we actually used our potential! Isn’t that funny?” Reb Noah smiled his warm smile, his eyes twinkled, and he replied, “Kalman, don’t you understand? We are using so little of our potential. Imagine what we could accomplish if we actually used our potential! Isn’t that funny? The Almighty gives us virtually unlimited potential and we don’t use it.

Hashem gives all of us the tools that we need do pass our trials and tribulations. In the toolbox for every challenge are the tools to pass it, because only with the relevant tools can any test be deemed fair. Our strengths that we have been given have to be used otherwise Hashem will take them away from us, because in having them but squandering them we become non-kosher like the stork.

Good Shabbos, Yaakov