Many circuses tie their baby elephants to a peg immediately after birth, I recently read, so as to prevent them from escaping. Fascinatingly, the same peg deters the elephant even when fully grown! From repeatedly trying to release itself unsuccessfully, the elephant learns the lesson that I am not able to shift this.
The successful person – what sets him apart from everyone else? Is it that he or she is uniquely gifted and talented? Perhaps. Methinks there is something more to it. Have you ever seen a successful person who lacks self-confidence? It seems to me that the successful person is someone who is uniquely gifted … with a large dose of positive self-appraisal and healthy (if not too-much!) self –esteem! I know of individuals who don’t necessarily have the greatest ability but do possess tremendous self-assurance – and they are “making it.”
In this week’s parshah, there unfolds the drama of the final attempt of the Egyptians to lord over the Jewish nation – and the miraculous demise of the Egyptians. Let us set the scene. The glorious Jewish nation have been led out of Egypt, into freedom, as the Egyptian Empire and nation are all-but-crushed with ten devastating Makkos, Plagues. Some several million Jews, amongst them 600,000 armed men (Rashi on Shemos 13:18), are encamped before the Red Sea, the Yam Suf.
And then come the 600 Egyptian chariots in hot pursuit. Surely this was madness – how could 600 chariots threaten such an overwhelmingly greater number of armed men? The commentators struggle to understand the fright expressed by the Jews; surely they were easily able to overpower the enemy, why then did they panic?
Ibn Ezra explains that after living for 210 years in dread of these Egyptians, their taskmasters, there was simply no way the Jews could turn round and fight them. The Jews believed, with every fibre of their being, that they “could not.”
Even today, think how many people are afflicted by the poison of, “I can’t.” All of us have wellsprings of strength, abilities and resources that we can tap into. We all have, most likely heard of the incident of a woman lifting up a car. Her child was trapped underneath it – she had to raise the vehicle, demonstrating in a rare show, the inner strength that lies within…
Let us believe in ourselves.
I will end off with a quotation from a sefer authored by one of our generation’s prominent Torah-observant psychologists, which I am certain you have neither encountered nor considered, owing to the originality of thought contained. The author of this sefer is a Rav Yaakov Mordechai Greenwald shlita, formerly of Monsey, USA. I quote:
“SELF- BELIEF – IN PRACTICE
“In our generation, there is rampant lack of self-confidence amongst our youth. Therefore, when one approaches the holy task of education, it is particularly important, and significant, to guide one’s children already from a young age, based upon a strong foundation of Belief (emunah) and Reliance (bitachon) in one’s self, for this issue pertains to one’s life in both the spiritual and in the material.
“Inasmuch as self-confidence is based upon the foundation of Belief in Hashem, the parent or educator must understand the need to demonstrate to the child that there is exists a connection between the concept of Faith overall to self –confidence. I.e., one must show him (the subject) that all his abilities and confidence in all his studies and all his actions, stem from a strong connection that exists between himself and his Maker, Hashem, Who created and sustains all that exists both in heaven and earth – including this individual himself.
“Furthermore, the educator needs to believe in the subject, to believe in him that he can study and succeed and thereby express in actuality the abilities that lie within [a person]. For the subject is able to perceive what truly lies in the heart of the educator, such that even should the educator repeat many times verbally alone that he believes in his student or child, if this is not consistent with how he actually feels in his heart, nothing will be achieved in this education. For the goal of our education is to create a bond between one’s nefesh (soul) and that of the subject, and “truth is the basis of the soul,” [such that when truth is lacking, the soul – the primary makeup of education – does not exist].
There is much, much more to excerpt from this sefer, so how about popping-in to the Shul between 6.45-7.45 during our 1-to-1 learning meetings for a learning session with one of the members of our Whitefield Community Kollel? See you there!
Good Shabbos, Yosef
