Enjoying the benefit of the hindsight, we’re all able to spot the telltale signs in Esav and can clearly identify his flawed character. Yet Yitzchok seems to have fallen for his sons’ show. Was it only Rivka who wasn’t blinded by Esav’s deception?
Consider for a minute what is it that will cause two children from an identical background, the same parents, and even the same pregnancy to find their way to two divergent paths?
Modern wisdom blames this on the individual profile of each of these children. Each child has his personal needs and tendencies, which will shape the future he will build for himself. An energetic child with a need for exciting action, would, in previous generations have tended towards hunting and manual labour. In today’s world he will need to be occupied with sports or perhaps DIY. Parents with a keen understanding of their childs’ needs make sure to encourage appropriate activity for this child – while steering him clear of trouble.
Chanoch lena’ar al pi darco. The verse instructs a parent to “educate each child in HIS own way”. A parent will nurture academic skills if early signs of Bookworm Syndrome appear. Challenging the mind and teaching new information today, is to actively cultivate tomorrow’s scholar and scientist.
Yitzchok and Rivka were blessed with two children with very different profiles. Ya’akov the introvert engaged in quiet book study; he showed early prodigious signs. Esav was very different – from a young age athletic, he was well built, physically mature beyond his years and had found his way into energetic; for him, the big outdoors beckoned.
Nevertheless, Esav had a special place in Yitzchok’s heart. As a child possessed of physical prowess, he was an unlikely candidate for academic pursuit. Yet, as he grew, Esav begun to show interest in a wide variety of Jewish topics. The Sages record his queries – how do you tithe salt. An interest in the obscure corners of Jewish Law had developed.
Many commentators have viewed this interest with suspicion – some calling it deception and thievery trying to curry favour with his father. Yet, in the view of Rabbi Yosef Salant a prominent Jerusalem Rabbi during the early years of the last century, Yitzchok was impressed by a son who was stretching himself beyond his natural limitations. A special attachment developed – Esav seemed to be possessed of a rare mix of talents.
Yitzchok saw something deeper than a naturally multi-faceted personality. What was truly admirable was that Esav seemed to be stretching himself beyond his natural comfort zone. Nature had determined that he excel in physical activity, yet Esav was determined to beat his own inborn limitations. Admiration was soon replaced by a deep love for this son and a desire to bless him.
Let’s take a look at the blessings initially planned for Esav. Occupied as he was with hunting, Esav was in mortal danger of being pursued and killed by dangerous wildlife. “You should be blessed with dew and rain, plentiful corn and grape products”. There would be no more need for perilous hunting expeditions and Esav would be blessed with a relatively secure life of agriculture.
Simultaneously, while putting aside his bow and arrow, in favor of a life of cultivating the land, he would find himself reliant on G-d’s mercy. Plentiful rain in its’ time, not too little and no too much. Constantly in touch with the earth, the seasons and their changing needs, would foster his connection with G-d – necessitating constant requests for Divine mercy and intervention.
Blessing this son was a way of assisting this son who had shown an interest in developing skills not naturally his. Having on his own taken steps in this direction, he would be aided in his quest to settle to a life of religious piety.
Rivka’s opposition and determination to have Ya’akov blessed was based on a prophecy that only she had been privy to. In a Heavenly determined decision, it would be Ya’akov, with his naturally possessed piety which was to be honed and fine-tuned to ultimately reach more lofty levels than that of his brother. Yitzchok’s approach was not flawed; it was only an executive decision from the highest of powers that had determined this question.
A word for our own families. Torah wisdom will encourage us to find the natural skills in our kids. Nurture those skills, develop them; compliment them generously on the smallest of steps they take in behaving like responsible adults. Then the sky’s the limit. They can find their way to success in disciplines we may never have imagined possible.
Good Shabbos, Sruly