This week’s Parshah is dominated with the description of the Yom Kippur service in the Temple. I heard the most fabulous but disturbing idea! One of the high points of the Temple service on Yom Kippur involved two identical goats. The High Priest was then to draw lots; one goat, the scapegoat, would be chosen to be sent off to the mountain cliffs where he would be thrown down the rocky mountain face. The other goat would be sent to be slaughtered and its blood would be used in the holy of holies.
Two identical goats but two very different end destinations. One quick and painless which resulted in the animal being sanctified in the most holy of places on the holiest day of the year, whereas its counterpart got quite the opposite treatment. What was to decide their respective fates? A lottery.
What is the significance of this lottery, and how are we to understand how this very central part of the Yom Kippur service is related to the essence of the day which is the pardoning of the Jews from their sins?
Rav Soloveichik explains that the process of choosing which goat was to be ‘for Hashem’ and which was to be the scapegoat is the very process that we use to achieve atonement on Yom Kippur. What distinguishes the fates of these two goats? A lottery – an act of G-d. It makes no difference if the goat ‘wills’ to change its fate. Whatever its lot – that is where it ends up. Similarly when we come before Hashem on Yom Kippur the ultimate plea is to say, the way I behaved was because of my ‘lot’. You Hashem put me in such and such situation. The place I live, the parents I have, the school I went too, all the things I was exposed too etc all of this was predestined and was put upon me. Just as goats had no choice, so too we had no choice!
Wonderful idea, but terribly disturbing! Can we really make such a claim to Hashem. Yes I sinned but it was Your fault for tempting me!? Whatever happened to free will? Does Hashem not give us situation which are suited for our level, with temptations that we can if we put in the effort withstand?
From another crucial episode it would seem as if we can present this argument! Forty days after we received the Torah we were dancing around the Golden Calf. Hashem informs Moshe about what is going on. Listen to what Moshe responds, “Why, Hashem, should your anger flare up against Your people, who You have taken out of the land of Egypt”
The Medresh questions the seemingly out of place mention of the fact that they had been taken out of Egypt, and explains that Moshe’s plea to Hashem was; “You, Hashem enslaved them in Egypt not so long ago, a place permeated with idolatry, where the natives worship sheep; some of Your people learned from those idolatrous practices and hence made a golden calf.”
Here we have the same problem as we have with the goats on Yom Kippur. How could Moshe turn round to Hashem and blame him for exposing us to the malpractices in Egypt and thus causing our sins?!?
Perhaps in order to understand Moshe’s claim, and our claim every Yom Kippur we need to explain a concept called by the Rabbis, “The essence of the day of Yom Kippur”. What does this mean? Is there some magic formula that just wipes our slate clean every Yom Kippur?
Allow me to over simplify a rather deep concept that I have been attempting to understand, which perhaps sheds some light on the problem!
The idea that Yom Kippur itself atones means that there exists a ‘place’ where all is good. We say in our morning blessings, “My G-d, the soul that You gave me is pure” – our very essence, our Neshamah, is pure and untainted. We may cover it with dirt and filth, but the diamond inside is not, and can not be affected intrinsically.
The Medresh tells us that Yom Kippur corresponds to the first day of creation. The first day of creation was unique in that it was the only day ever where only Hashem existed, not even angels had been created (let alone humans) to ruin the serenity. Every Yom Kippur taps back into this special day.
This is the power to wipe away sin. The world as it were is stripped back to its essence – to the complete Oneness of Hashem. However unlike the first day of creation where only Hashem existed, on Yom Kippur only according to how much we understand the magnitude of Hashems presence will that presence manifest itself.
An appreciation of only Hashems presence is achieved through ‘teshuvah’ – literally returning. Returning to our essence. This process is hard work and involves stopping to sin, regret, confession and sincere acceptance for the future. But through doing this we go back to who we really are – a neshomah. As Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier puts it, “You are a spiritual being, temporarily having a physical experience!”
When Moshe claimed to Hashem, and when we offer up the goats that give the message, “Hashem you put me in this position where sin was so tempting” what we are really trying to say is that everything is really You. The whole free-will-illusion, even the sin itself is Your will. This is not a cop-out repentance, but a deep appreciation of the reality of the situation. Only if we can connect to this reality can we merit to live the reality itself – and return to our pure neshomah state.
Good Shabbos
Yaakov
