“I am the fastest runner in my class”. “I am the strongest one in my class”. “I am the cleverest boy in my class”. Young children have no problem whatsoever, with extolling their own virtues in public, something sane adults rarely do; even if the self praise is absolutely true. The closest that most people come, to publicly proclaiming the wondrous attributes that comprise their magnificent selves; is to share an abstract tale about someone else and through that, throw in their little titbits about themselves.
The question is really, what changed? Why does maturity develop this bashful restraint within us?
To boast about ourselves or our achievements is not only distasteful and socially improper; it is in fact a trait that the Torah forbids. Much more then that, the Talmud writes that haughtiness drives the divine presence from within our midst. It remains then to discover what defines modesty and when is modesty misplaced.
The reason why adults are more inhibited when advertising themselves, is that the qualities they are speaking about are perceived as their own achievements. Many of us imagine that a good brain, beautiful voice or physical strength is something that we ourselves have been instrumental in attaining. Would we feel uncomfortable when speaking about Pavarotti’s beautiful voice or the astounding brainpower of Albert Einstein? We would not. This is because the traits and qualities being discussed are not our own. If one would realise that the wondrous qualities, talents and gifts that we have been blessed with are not our own, rather they are gifts bestowed upon us by the Al-mighty, we would feel no personal pride in the innate qualities we have. We have no more reason to be proud of our talents than a person who became a millionaire on a lucky scratchcard. The talents we have been blessed with are tools through which we are to achieve our purpose in this world.
The first word of this weeks parsha is Vayikra – ויקרא those who get a peep into the Torah will see that the “א” is smaller than the rest of the word. The commentaries explain that Moses in his deep humility wrote it this way as if his meeting with G-d was only a chance encounter as opposed to a calling which would denote the greatness of Moses. How is it that the teacher and leader of all of the Jewish nation could be so humble, surely he knew quite well, how lofty a position he held? The apparent oxymoronic status of being both the greatest of the Jewish people and at the same time the most humble is somewhat fathomable when we appreciate that on his level of perfection he did not feel that any of his qualities were his own. He was one hundred percent in tune with the fact that all he had, was a gift from G-d, haughtiness simply has no place in such a mindset.
Dayan Abramsky was the head of the London Beth Din from the year 1934-1951 He was a genius with an unparalleled breadth of knowledge. On an occasion he was called to give testimony in a civil court. During the proceedings he was asked if he was the supreme authority of Jewish law in Great Britain. When he replied in the affirmative the judge said “Aren’t you required to be modest” he replied “Your Honour I am under oath”.
This anecdote displays his understanding of his status, yet despite this he was known to be a very modest man. This is the true understanding of modesty, not a denial of the existence of our talents, rather the appreciation of who they come from.
May we all merit the opportunity to use our talents to make a difference.
Have a lovely Shabbos
Meir