The society in which we live in nowadays is full of “capitalism” of having and owning, often with one purpose in mind, to be happy, but if we take a look around it is obvious to all that true happiness is not so commonly found. Never before have there been so many psychiatrists and counsellors. Depression, alcohol and drug abuse are all becoming the norm. In 2012 one of the most read books in America was `how to commit suicide`.
Let us take a look at the meeting of Jacob and Esau in this week’s Torah reading to help us focus on attaining fulfilment and happiness with our possessions.
When Jacob and Esau meet, Esau describes his property as follows, “I have a lot.” In contrast when Jacob describes his belongings and family he says, “I have everything.”
What is the difference between having everything and having a lot?
The answer is obvious; “a lot” infers that I am still lacking something; I could do with a bit more, but “everything” infers that I lack nothing! Let us take a deeper look in to how Jacob acquired this contentment and feeling of having everything.
Rav Dessler explains that something in this world that was only created as a ‘means’ to aid our service to G-D will never bring satisfaction if we take that ‘means’ and use it as an ‘ends’ – as if it has its own intrinsic purpose.
Let’s take just one example very relevant to our discussion, Money! If you use money to assist you in your growth and service to G-D you will feel very satisfied and content with what you have, but if you use money as a means in itself, as something that is going to bring you happiness, you will never be happy. Money was not created in the cosmic make up of the world to bring happiness.
This is how Jacob achieved the level of feeling that he lacked nothing and had everything! He realised that all he had was a means and an aid for his growth as opposed to a means in itself. On the other hand we see Esau, who held money as a means in itself and therefore was never content and fulfilled with his lot, constantly felt he was lacking. This is true with all worldly pleasures; lust does not satisfy or make happy marriages and food does not make people happy, but when all pleasures are used as a means and not as an ends one will gain true contentment.
We have all heard of the famous Rothschild family, one of the most affluent Jewish families of all time in Europe. When Baron Rothschild passed away he left behind two wills. The first will was to be opened straight away whilst the second will was only to be opened after the week of mourning. In the first will was written `please bury me with my favourite socks`. So the family approached the undertakers to ask them to comply with their father’s request. The undertakers approached the Rabbis to assert if in the parameters of Halachah one could be buried with his socks. The Rabbis ruling was that it was against the Halachah to be buried in ones socks. No family pressure was able to budge this ruling so Baron Rothschild was buried without his socks. When the family got up from the week of mourning they opened the second will, it read as follows; `you see however rich one is he cant even take his socks with him`.
As the saying goes, “people search for the cities of happiness but it is found in the state of the mind.” Let us learn from Jacob in having the right state of mind to the possessions we own, let’s use our finances and money to bring us closer to the creator of the world and by doing so we will achieve true contentment, fulfilment and happiness.
Good Shabbos, Chaim