Do not take from him interest and increase” [Vayikra 25:36]
In his (highly recommended) sefer “Mesilah – a burst of inspiration” (Mosaica Press), Rabbi Aryeh Berzansky explains: “The mitzvah of lending money without interest teaches us to do acts of kindness for others without asking “what is in it for me?” Not only is it forbidden to receive interest for lending money, but the person who borrowed the money is also not permitted to do any special favours for the person who lent him the money. That is even if both parties agree!
The Torah is telling us to lend money because of the desire to help another Jew, even though there is nothing in it for us.
Develop your attribute of selfless giving!”
I would like to add a wonderful thought concerning a related topic – according honour to one’s fellow.
It is, in fact, time-appropriate to comment about honouring – giving kovod to – one’s fellow; currently we find ourselves during the time period known as “the Omer” which (besides being the auspicious lead-up to the festival of Shavuos, the Yom Tov of our receiving the Torah) is a period of Jewish National mourning. During this period, 24,000 disciples of the Sage ‘Rebi Akiva’ (from the Talmudic period) passed away. Chazal (our Sages) teach us that the reason for the ‘plague’ that decimated so many Torah scholars, befell them on account of the charge that they did not accord appropriate honour one to the other.
Inasmuch as the passing of these Sages is attributed to a lack of according due honour, it is only befitting for us – Torah-true Jews millennia later – to pay closer attention to this important characteristic, particularly during this ‘Sefiroh period.’
Recently, I have been reading on a consistent basis the book entitled, “Dear Son.” It is described on the front cover as “A father’s wise guidance for wholesome human relationships, a happy marriage and a serene home,” written by Rabbi Eliyohu Goldschmidt a”h, and published by Artscroll Series.
In this book, in Chapter four: Hidden Feelings, the author sensitises the reader to the need to, and ability within of us to cultivate, the specific middoh, characteristic, of being exquisitely sensitive to others’ feelings. He writes the following beautiful story:
“The Satmar Rav, R’ Yoel Teitelbaun, and the Viener Rav, R’ Yonasan Steif, both lived in Williamsburg and were very close friends. One Friday night, they were discussing a certain point on which they had a difference of opinion, and the Satmar Rav made a remark that seemed a little too sharp.
Later, after the Friday night seudah (meal), the Satmar Rav told his shammash (attendant) to fetch his coat. He was going to Rav Steif’s house to apologise. The Satmar Rav put on his coat, and, accompanied by his shamash (attendant), went out into the street. To his surprise, Rav Steif was waiting for him in the street.
“I knew you would come to apologise,” he said to the Satmar Rav, “So I decided to wait here for you. Why should you have to walk all the way to my house?”
An amazing story isn’t it? I cannot promise you that this story actually happened, but I do not think such a story can be made up.
Regardless of whether the story is true or not, there is a beautiful lesson to be learnt from here, for every husband and wife, and in fact for every two close friends. These two Gedolim – Torah Sages – the Satmar Rav and Rav Steif, held each other in the very highest esteem. They were extremely sensitive to each other’s honour and prestige. Nonetheless, it can happen that one would inadvertently make a remark that would hurt the feelings of the other. Such a thing is possible, and when the Satmar Rav, upon reviewing the conversation over in his mind, came to the conclusion that his comment may have been offensive, then his reaction was to seek out Rav Steif immediately and to apologise. As for Rav Steif, he understood that an apology would be forthcoming, and did what he could to make it quick and comfortable. Beautiful!”
I think this lesson can be applied to each one of us – it applies to husband and wife, and between close friends. There is always a possibility that you may inadvertently hurt the feelings of your spouse or friend. Rabbi Goldschmidt concludes, “Condition yourself to apologise immediately. Do not let your wife stew in her pain for even an extra instant. Believe me, you will be the beneficiary. By always apologising right away, you will give her a wonderful sense of security. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she followed Rav Steif’s example and did everything in her power to make it easy for you to apologise. It will become a natural reaction for both of you. As soon as you sense that your wife has been offended, the apology is forthcoming and will be readily accepted. Such a marriage is a true Garden of Eden.”
Good Shabbos, Yosef
